It is I.
I am America. I am your opposition. I am the person whose Liberty and singularity you've methodically sought to abolish. I am Joe the Plumber. I am Capitalism and self-reliance. I am John Galt. I am a white man devoid of white guilt. I thumb my nose at Islam and their prophet. I'm John Wayne. I'm a Southerner with a truck, and I stand with Israel. I pledge allegiance and honor the Anthem and the Flag with my hand over my heart. I abhor and shun perversion, and would never hire a child-molestor to be "safe-schools czar". I never showed up at my job just to vote "present." I'm a friend of the Tea Parties. I'm an ecologist who doesn't subscribe to the global warming hoax. I'm a US citizen, and able to prove it. I sing God Bless America... with conviction. I am the original captain of the Olympic Ass-Kicking Team. And whipping me would win you the esteem of all your true believers...like Chris Matthews, Keith Olbermann, Bill Maher, Michael Moore, Janeane Garofolo, Hugo Chavez, ad nauseum.
We could get a Pay-Per-View event set up, sell access at $50 per household, and pay down the national debt. Or someone could just lock the two of us in a room for ten minutes. Let your "expert" James Cameron set up a video camera in that room, and he can sell the "cold-cockumentary" at the theatres. That'd be my preference, but I ain't too picky. Even if it's just the two of us, for what it's worth, you won't be the "smartest person in (that) room."
I just got sliced open last weekend and still have some staples in my gut, but like John Wayne says to Bruce Dern in The Cowboys, "...on my worst day, I'd still beat the hell outta you."
Any time. Anywhere. For any amount of money.
You think you're a